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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26397367">when stars bleed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongjoongies/pseuds/hongjoongies'>hongjoongies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band) Are Pirates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boys In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay yearning, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kim Hongjoong is Whipped, Literally Soulmates, M/M, Mention of attempted suicide, Mentioned Kang Yeosang, Mutual Pining, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not literally, One Shot, Pirate King - Freeform, Please Don't Hate Me, Strangers to Friends, he’s just called toothless, hongjoong calls him his toothless, hongjoong is angry, kim hongjoong is angry and in love, kind of, no one dies, oh yeah, only if you interpret it that way, park seonghwa impulsive, park seonghwa pabo, slight angst, soulmates to lovers, stupidly in love gay anarchist pirate boys, they are all good boys, toothless hwa, very brief mention tho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:35:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26397367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongjoongies/pseuds/hongjoongies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hongjoong always heals his favorite pirate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>150</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when stars bleed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">as many times as seonghwa had promised the younger, self-proclaimed “pirate king” that he wouldn’t get into more violent altercations without him, hongjoong knew that his words were devoid of honesty. that never made him any less upset, no matter how many times he would bitterly deny his disappointment to the older man.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">the first mate, the crew called “toothless,” simply due to his inability to give much of a fuck. he had no filter, and as a result he was often the brunt of most enemy seizes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">this time was no exception.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">seonghwa had fought many times, gotten cuts, scrapes, bruises, etc. the list goes on. the one thing he has never been is stabbed; at least, not deep enough to incapacitate him. sure, he had gotten bad wounds before, little nicks here and there from the very tip of a sword, but </span> <span class="s2">never </span> <span class="s1">this. never enough blood to actually scare him. </span> <span class="s2">toothless</span> <span class="s1">wasn’t </span> <span class="s2">scared </span> <span class="s1">of anything.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">he’s not sure when it happens— he wastoo busy on his adrenaline high and fighting back to notice,but then they’re all in a pile on the ground and suddenly all he feels is searing pain spreading from his ribcage down to his hip bone. it’s </span> <span class="s2">excruciating. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">he’s stumbling across the damaged ship—hand pressing the bleeding wound on his side, when he hears hongjoong’s voice yelling out for him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“h-here! i’m here,” the older coughs, wincing at the the way his skin </span> <span class="s2">stretches </span> <span class="s1">around the gash. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">seonghwa doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the way hongjoong looked at him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“jesus fucking christ, seonghwa stop moving you’re gonna make it worse oh my god, why do you keep doing this, who did this to you? i’ll kill them, i’ll fucking kill them! they’ll never see the light of day again, oh, i swear on my grave i’ll take my hook and slit their throat i—” hongjoong is looking around frantically, arm around seonghwa, as if to scope out the person who caused it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">if the situation wasn’t so serious seonghwa might have giggled a little at his friends behavior, but he doesn’t think he has ever seen </span> <span class="s2">the</span> <span class="s1"> kim hongjoong,infamous “</span> <span class="s2">pirate king”</span> <span class="s1"> this angry in his life, and they nearly grew up together.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“fuck, we gotta get you to the infirmary unit. that’s downstairs and you can’t. h-hwa you can’t do that right now it’s so dangerous, it’s </span> <span class="s2">too </span> <span class="s1">dangerous, i have to go down and get the stuff—“ </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“im going down. you can carry me, or i can lean on you or something, i believe you. d-don’t— fuck, don’t give up on yourself now, captain,” he starts, licking his bloodied lower lip and choking out a pained laugh at the way hongjoong’s face scrunches in disgust at the formal title. “you can’t. that’s not you. that’s not who you are. you’re kim hongjoong, you’re </span> <span class="s2">the</span> <span class="s1"> fucking pirate king. you’re... christ, you should be comforting </span> <span class="s2">me </span> <span class="s1">right now. so stand your fun-sized ass up as tall as you can, and drag me down those steps whether i’m wailing in pain or not. be the pirate king you claim yourself to be. leaving me up here is more of a risk than us going down there together.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong doesn’t know if he should feel proud or offended. maybe a little bit of both. but seonghwa is right. leaving him alone, especially in this current situation is most likely a death sentence waiting to happen.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">for once in his life, hongjoong listens.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">the trip to the infirmary is excruciating for the both of them, the stairs being their biggest obstacle. though hongjoong is carrying most of seonghwa’s weight against his side, every step is agonizing. hongjoong swears seonghwa’s screams are devastating, but his sobs are even worse. every step, every choked out sob of “</span> <span class="s2">i’m okay, it’s okay</span> <span class="s1">,” is sending hongjoong further into the start of a mental breakdown that he most certainly does not have time to deal with right now, so he pushes forward; he goes harder and seonghwa’s groans of agony get louder, but it happens quicker. with one last stumble forward, the most excruciating part is over.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">seonghwa leans on hongjoong, who silently wipes the tears flowing out of his non-patched eye, and gulps his own broken sobs down as they trek forward down the long hallway to the medical area. with every step, blood drips and soaks into the wooden floorboards, a soon to be permanent reminder of this terrifying moment.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">finally, </span> <span class="s2">finally</span> <span class="s1">, they arrive at the small first aid room, and seonghwa gets some relief. hongjoong is trembling incessantly, his breath is uneven, and seonghwa is certain he’s never seen him like this. he reaches forward, grabbing hongjoong’s shaking hands in his own and looks at him. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i’m okay, joong. i’m okay. breathe. focus. calm.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“shut the fuck up, i am calm. keep your hands pressed on the wound,” hongjoong yanks his hands away, grabbing all of the materials he needs while seonghwa rests his head against the mirror.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i’m sorry,” seonghwa deadpans. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“sorry? you’re sorry?” hongjoong spits as he sits down with the materials, assessing seonghwa’s face. he takes the fabric scissors and cuts seonghwa’s shirt off, carefully. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i-“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“no, it’s my turn to talk, shut up and listen,” he starts, grabbing the wooden spatula next to him and handing it to seonghwa. “first of all, this is going to fucking hurt like the ninth layer of hell, so bite that or something, i don’t know. second of all, i’m so tired of you not listening to me, fucking hell, seonghwa, i can handle myself, please stop doing this. or at least wait for me. i can’t- i can’t keep seeing you like this. you can’t keep sneaking out without me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i’m sorry—“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“what did i just say? bite.” hongjoong nearly shoves the spoon into his mouth.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“you don’t get to talk. this is the worst injury you’ve had and you’re lucky i know how to suture or else you would be </span> <span class="s2">fucked</span> <span class="s1">, do you understand?” hongjoong nearly growls, but there’s so much more to his voice than just anger and seonghwa can tell, even as hongjoong holds up the alcohol soaked cloth guaranteed to annihilate his pain scale. “on three you scream but don’t fucking move, it’ll be worse.” </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">hongjoong rinses his wound with lukewarm soapy water first, and while that’s the most painful thing seonghwa thinks he has ever felt, seconds later he is proven wrong because it seems as if the cloth hongjoong had shown him before had the power to split every atom in seonghwa’s body apart and he’s struggling to even breathe. all he knows is that the noises coming out of his mouth </span> <span class="s2">can’t </span> <span class="s1">be his own, because they’re near demonic. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">seonghwa passes out.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">when he comes to, his side is stitched up and hongjoong is in the middle of wrapping some gauze and bandage tape around it. his head feels like it’s about to explode, his right eye blooming with colors crimson, violet, and ugly yellow. his lips are cut, as are his knuckles, but seeing hongjoong tend to his wounds so very delicately warms him in a way he doesn’t understand.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“hey,” the sound of his voice startles even himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong jumps, letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in, and the corner of his mouth lifts up into a barely there half smile. 45% smile, seonghwa thinks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“so you didn’t die on me. good to know,” hongjoong sighs and sits up from his previous position, now face to face with the older man. there’s just a hint of playfulness in his voice, but seonghwa can tell that hongjoong is more relieved than ever.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“yeah,” he grunts, taking care to not move his body beyond what it can take at the moment which, isn’t much. “thank you, for... uh.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong deserves more than a thank you, seonghwa thinks. a thank you in this situation is more awkward than not. what is someone supposed to say when their best friend of nearly six years says “oh yeah, thanks for literally saving me from bleeding out while also scarring yourself mentally for the rest of your life, i really appreciate it.” nothing, absolutely nothing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">but hongjoong always has something to say, even when he doesn’t need to.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“stop talking, you’re gonna make your lip bleed more. you scared me when you passed out like that. had to check your pulse to make sure you were gone and not </span> <span class="s2">gone</span> <span class="s1">,” hongjoong whispers, tilting seonghwa’s face carefully to assess the damage. he shakes his head, cursing under his breath.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“christ, hwa,” his voice quivers and seonghwa nearly breaks. “i was so scared. it was so scary... there was so much blood.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i’m sorry—“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“what did i just say? stop talking,” he grabs seonghwa’s hands, resting limp at his side, and examines them carefully. they’re bruised, colors blooming over the hills of his knuckles, and hongjoong makes a promise to himself to never let it happen again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">with one hand barely encasing seonghwa’s own, he wipes the at crimson blood on his lip with a damp cloth. it stings like a bitch, albeit much less than the alcohol; it’s probably some type of peroxide.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">hongjoong’s hand stays on his lower lip even after the blood has been wiped off and seonghwa isof how </span> <span class="s2">intimate </span> <span class="s1">it feels. hongjoong’s non patched eye is staring back at his own, filled with emotions that seonghwa can’t even begin to identify.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">seonghwa tries to look away, tries to blink back the tears that threaten to escape his eyes, tries to fight against the hand that forces his dark brown eyes to gaze into their own, but he can’t. in the end, hongjoong always wins.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">everything seems to stop as they stare into each other’s eyes. seonghwa remembers the first time he had gazed into them, and chuckles at the irony of the moment.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">he was seventeen, thrown overboard his parents ship during a siege turned violent. seonghwa would never forget the feeling of panic that consumed him; much like the roaring waves that whipped him in the face, blow after blow, mercilessly knocking the oxygen out of him, despite his desperate attempts at gasping for </span> <span class="s2">anything </span> <span class="s1">but the water forcing its way into his lungs. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">he’s still not sure how it happened, but the next thing he knew he was choking up the salty ocean water, staring into the deep blue eyes of the prettiest man he had ever seen.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">the memory always sends a tidal wave of emotions through his body— no pun intended, and he’s abruptly reminded of just how fucking </span> <span class="s2">close </span> <span class="s1">they are, in the metaphorical and literal sense.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">they stay silent as they stare at one another, hongjoong’s hand now caressing the side of seonghwa’s bruised cheek gently.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“you are so strong,” seonghwa catches himself whispering aloud, eyes welling up with tears. he’s so close to hongjoong that he can feel the younger’s breath fanning his lips, and the sudden urge to kiss him is clawing at every muscle in his body.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">his hand finds solace on hongjoong’s cheek, and he can’t help but wonder how he got so lucky. “you’re so good... so good to me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong can feel the tears threatening to run down his cheeks, soak seonghwa’s hand in pent up emotions and internalized hatred, but he holds himself together as much as he can.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i am so proud of you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong holds himself together using a l of fraying rope and a rusty anchor. seonghwa always knew how to sever the edges and sink the hook.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong finally lets himself break. the tears flow out of his eyes and down his face like a waterfall, and seonghwa is there to hold him through it. “you don’t get to say that, hwa. not right now. look at you. look what that son of a bitch crew did. i may be strong, but i can’t compare to you,” he chokes out, running his hand through seonghwa’s raven black hair. “you... it’s always been you. my toothless. my saving grace. i wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you, got it?” he can hear hongjoong’s voice dripping with an emotion that he knows all too well and not enough. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">the tears streaming down seonghwa’s face are ruthless, and as they hold each other together with the palms of their hands, they break down and fuse a new bond.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">minutes pass, and eventually sobs turn into sniffles that turn into the occasional deep inhale. the storm has passed, the waves have settled, and the boat rocks, appeased.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">the laugh that suddenly rips through the tranquil ambience scares seonghwa shitless.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">it’s hongjoong, but it’s genuine; the dictionary definition of the way laughter is spelled, a resonating </span> <span class="s2">hahaha </span> <span class="s1">that the older mate never knew was actually possible. but it’s such random timing that seonghwa can’t help but think that maybe this was the pirate king’s breaking point. his downfall into madness. he doesn’t blame him either, if the bucket full of blood soaked towels is anything to come by.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“hong, have you finally gone crazy... lost your wits? what the hell are you laughing about?” seonghwa asks, running his hand through the man’s faded pink locks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“y-yeah, sorry, i sounded a little insane there,” hongjoong starts, leaning into the touch. “i just was thinking... about how you had some nerve calling me strong when you were the one bleeding out. always so considerate, toothless.” he snorts.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">seonghwa finds himself chuckling lightly along with the shorter man, wishing he had a way to prove him wrong. he didn’t have a single way, unfortunately, so he instead opted to keep the personal space between him and hongjoong minimal, and he can feel hongjoong’s breath stutter the closer they get together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i still think you’re stronger.” seonghwa whispers, lips now ghosting over hongjoong’s.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i think you’re a liar.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“i think... you should shut up and kiss me already.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">it slips out of his mouth before he can stop it, but that’s all hongjoong needs to hear before he’s closing the gap between them, kissing the older like he’s his lifeline, and in a way. he truly is. it’s not like the movies; that’s for fucking sure. it’s </span> <span class="s2">better. </span> <span class="s1">there’s no fireworks bursting and life flashing before their eyes and the “spark,” but instead an profound emotion that no movie could ever begin to explain correctly. perhaps there’s no spark because they have always known they loved each other, or maybe it’s because seonghwa’s bleeding lip is ruining the </span> <span class="s2">magic </span> <span class="s1">of the moment, but either way, his lips feel like heaven against his own and he doesn’t think this moment could compare to anything else in his life. he has never felt so much love and compassion without a single word uttered in his life. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">the two look borderline demented; blood smeared on their bodies, kissing passionately in the medical room full of materials that hongjoong still needs to put away, but it doesn’t matter when they’re so wrapped up in each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong wraps his arms around seonghwa’s neck, gently, and pulls away with tears in his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“you have no idea how long i’ve waited to do that, </span> <span class="s2">toothless</span> <span class="s1">.”</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“if i would’ve known you’d kiss me like that maybe i’d have said it sooner, beautiful.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">hongjoong had always yearned. if someone were to look up the word yearning in a dictionary it would show a photograph of the man. the way he achieved getting the man he had yearned for six years is beyond him, but now that they have each other hongjoong is convinced that there is nothing they can’t do.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>howdy, guys gals and non-binary pals... ew that was gross but ,,, i have good news and bad news! i’ll start with the bad, which isn’t really bad but... as you can see, i have upgraded to a new fandom *crowd boos/awws* BUT WAIT! good news is, it’s an 8 member kpop boy group named ATEEZ! which if you’re reading this hopefully that means you like them just as much as i do :D basically, i owe probably the two people who even read my shit an explanation. as you can see, i haven’t written in either of my previous fics in over a year, and that’s due to a multitude of things. firstly, it was nearing the end of my junior year of high school which most of you know is one of the toughest years to do. secondly, around march of that year i was prepping for a big mouth surgery i was gonna have, which ended up failing and i had another one where they redid it and broke my jaw this august so i’m currently still fucked up but sprinkle in excessive hyper-fixation creativity 🥰. thirdly, my senior year was pretty stressful too but i did it! i graduated in may and i’ve been writing since then, so yeah i have a lot of things in my drafts that i’m super excited to share with you all. lastly, and more honestly than anything else here, i just grew out of the 5sos fandom. after quarantine, things got a little boring and they didn’t really do much so i ended up losing interest. it seems like a lot of us did, and while that sucks, i don’t regret it one bit. i feel a lot happier here, a lot more meaningful in this fandom. with that being said, those two fics are going to be discontinued, but i will still keep them up for anyone who wants to read them! if you made it to the end of this, congrats you’re awesome and i appreciate you a lot! i hope you all enjoy the story and give me some feedback maybe? alright, enough of me talking, enjoy seongjoong being absolutely adorable soulmates with an overused trope 🥰</p></blockquote></div></div>
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